


things unsaid

by erurirentrash



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Fluff and Angst, M/M, Polyamory, first fic e v e r idk why i'm even posting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-23
Updated: 2015-01-23
Packaged: 2018-03-08 16:53:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3216488
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/erurirentrash/pseuds/erurirentrash
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Levi knows he should feel blessed, he's so lucky.</p>
            </blockquote>





	things unsaid

When Levi steps out of the shower and walks back into the bedroom, he allows himself a few seconds to stare while he towels off his hair. 

Eren is sprawled on his stomach, smile on his face, while Erwin lies to his left, hand over his stomach, face relaxed for the first time Levi’s seen it that week. It’s not often they get to share sleeping quarters, but Levi’s glad Erwin’s bed is big enough to manage to fit the three of them together, sort of. He’s also glad his partners had the decency to put their underwear back on, seeing as they didn’t even bother to pick the sheets off the floor. Levi would definitely be a happier man if they’d showered too, considering the sweat they’d worked up before. He scrunches his nose and lets it pass this time. 

Carefully, as not to disturb either of the sleeping men, he walks over to the dresser where he keeps some spare clothes and puts on clean underwear. Suddenly, he feels restless, and briefly considers waking them both up just so he’ll have a distraction, or maybe cleaning something. Anything. But he knows dawn is not very far off and he should rest, even though his eyes feel wide open and his heartbeat sounds loud in his ears. 

He hates himself for falling into sentimentality, but he supposes as long as Erwin and Eren are not awake to mock him for it, he can allow himself to take a breather. He hates to admit most nights in their company end up like this, although tonight he might be feeling particularly anxious. 

He kneels at the end of the bed, feeling a little chill when the cold stone floor touches his knees, so he grabs Erwin’s discarded shirt and only mildly swears under his breath as he puts it on, wondering what on Earth the blond’s mama fed him to make him grow like a tree. 

His eyes find Eren’s face. The couple of years he’s grown don’t show on his face. His mouth is still crooked in a smile, but his body is a little tense and his brow is furrowed. Levi figures he’s probably having a weird dream. He wouldn’t put it past the kid to dream about killing Titans and be smiling about it. Heck, he might even jizz his underwear. Gross. 

Erwin’s face is leaning towards Eren, as if trying to get closer, and Levi loves that. He finds a little comfort in thinking they love each other as much as they love him. Comfort in knowing they’d still have each other if he were to day the next day in battle. They’d mourn, but they’d pull through. 

He sees Erwin’s lump of an arm, and thinks they might not even need him anyway. It’s not like he’s made much of a difference. Maybe Erwin would be faced with less political trouble, even. 

He doesn’t know where these thoughts are coming from but he wants them to stop. He needs to feel their skin, their warmth, let his mind slip away. Remind himself he’s lucky they’re all alive and have each other. 

He slowly crawls up, stopping to grab the covers and moving between both of them. There’s not much space left but he manages to put the covers over the three of them, a little worried the night’s getting chilly. He slowly put his head down and breathes in. 

Their scents combined are heavenly and only a little disgusting. He feels his heartbeat calm down a bit, repeats to himself _We’re alive, we’re okay. We’re alive, we’re okay._  

Still, minutes pass, and sleep doesn’t come to him. 

Out of nowhere, he hears giggling. His head snaps to the right and he sees Eren squeezing his eyes, trying to bite back laughter, very much awake. 

“What the fuck, Eren?”, he snaps, a little concerned about Eren’s mental health. 

Eren opens his eyes, finally, bluish green shining in the dark of the night, a couple of tears threatening to spill. “I’m so sorry, Levi, please don’t kick me. You’re just so adorable.” 

Levi can feel his face heat up. “You were awake all this time, you little shit?” Erwin sighs on his other side, opening his eyes too and looking straight at Eren. 

“I’m sorry, Erwin! I couldn’t keep it in!” Eren says. “We know you always creep on us when you think we’re asleep, alright? It’s okay! We don’t mind! We figured you did it for a reason and we’re okay with it, I just think you’re so adorable!” 

“So you’re telling me you’ve been faking to be asleep every time? Fuck you.” He moves to sit up, but Eren is all over him in a second, hugging him tight and kissing his face all over. 

“Please don’t be mad at us!”, the brunet manages to say between kisses. “We did it because we love you.” 

“God fucking dammit, Eren, let me go!” 

Levi tries to break free. It’s not like he couldn’t easily overpower Eren, but suddenly Erwin’s chuckling behind him and wrapping his arm around the both of them. Then he’s screwed. 

“You have nothing to be ashamed of, Levi.” Erwin whispers in his ear, and Levi feels a shiver and his resolve crumble. Erwin starts kissing his neck and shoulder while Eren is still placing soft kisses on his forehead and cheeks, and it’s just too much, he’s overwhelmed, he wants everything to stop. 

“Today’s the anniversary of Isabel and Farlan’s death.” 

And just like that, it does.

Erwin and Eren freeze, but they don’t let him go. Levi wants to shut up, maybe ask the Earth to swallow him or the sky to strike him, but he goes on. 

“You two remind me of them sometimes. The colour of your eyes. Eren’s passion for life could take on Isabel’s any day of the week. You have a way of spreading enthusiasm all around you, Eren. Isabel was just like that.” He looks over his shoulder at Erwin, who actually knew her, and sees acknowledgement in his eyes. “And Farlan was a calculating little shit like you, Erwin. Always trying to be one step ahead. Look where that got him.” He adds, bitterly. _Please don’t end up like him_ , he doesn’t say. 

“I’m… I’m sorry”, Eren stutters. Levi realizes he’s never actually talked about his family to Eren before, and feels he should be the one apologizing. 

“You have nothing to apologize for, brat. Are you going to be saying sorry all fucking night?” As usual, his stern words don’t face Eren at all. The teen - _No, he’s an adult now. He made it to adulthood_ , Levi reminds himself- only hugs him tighter. 

“Sorry.” 

“ _Eren_.” 

“Right.” 

Erwin doesn’t say anything, but his head rests a little more heavily on his shoulder. 

Levi feels exhausted, like he can barely keep his eyes open any longer. “Oy, get off me, you giants, you’re killing me”, he says, yet he makes no actual effort to shove them off. His chest feels tight with things he’s not said to his lovers yet, things that threaten to leave his tongue, reassurances and promises about a hundred things they cannot have, not in this lifetime, probably not even in the next or the one after that. He looks at Eren’s face right in front of him, and sees he still looks kinda sad and hates himself for it. He forces the next words out in an effort  to wipe that look from Eren’s face, feeling worn out. 

“Eren”, he says, and Eren immediately looks up at him from under his lashes. “I’m not… You’re not…” He desperately wants to look anywhere but at Eren’s face, but his bright honest eyes keep him grounded. “I'm not saying you're a replacement. Neither of you.” 

Eren only looks sadder. 

“Oh, Levi.” Erwin says against the nape of his neck. “We know that. No one could ever replace Isabel and Farlan. I’m sure Eren thinks the same.” 

“Yeah!”, Eren quickly chips in. “I’m just thinking there’s… a lot about you I don’t know, and I would have liked to have been there for you when it happened.” 

“Don’t be stupid, Eren. You hadn’t even been born yet.” 

“So was! You’re not that old!” 

“Yeah well, I doubt your baby drool could have helped.” 

“I just wish things were different, okay?”, Eren snaps. He’s speaking with his eyes closed now. “I wish I’d gotten to share more of your life. Both of your lives. So many things happened before I knew you, sometimes I’m kinda jealous.” 

“Oh my God, Eren. Shut the fuck up, you dipshit.” 

“Levi, I believe Eren was having a moment.” 

“Well, his moment is fucking _done_. That’s what he gets for being a stupid piece of trash, making me worried because of dumb shit. Can we please just go the fuck to sleep. I think the sun is already coming up.” 

When he looks back at Eren, he’s smiling so bright he has to look away again, face hot and heartbeat unsteady. Erwin lets out a chuckle, tired and low against Levi’s hair, and Levi can see him tighten his hand against Eren’s forearm. 

“Yeah, let’s.”

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> oh my god don't look at me i don't even know? also English is not my first language if you've read this i hope you're not jumping out the window


End file.
